


An Unusual Conversation

by thewightknight



Series: Reconcilable Differences [3]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M, Penis Size, Size Difference
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-21
Updated: 2015-07-21
Packaged: 2018-04-10 12:09:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4391348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thewightknight/pseuds/thewightknight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zaryn discovers there are some differences between dwarf and human anatomy</p>
            </blockquote>





	An Unusual Conversation

Leliana heard Zaryn coming up the stairs, which was a first for the dwarf. It had become a game for them almost immediately, trying to sneak up on each other, and if she wasn’t bothering to hide her approach then something serious must have arisen. 

When Zaryn’s face came into view, she upgraded “serious” to “crisis,” because this was another first – Zaryn wasn’t smiling. Her smile was her mask, even more so than the Orlesian affectations. She hadn’t received any letters that Leliana knew of, and no new reports had come in for several days. This was worrisome.

“Inquisitor, is there something wrong?”

“Is't that obvious?” Zaryn looked around. The top of the tower was always bustling with people. “Look, can we …?” She gestured to the door that led out to the walkway circling the top floor.

“Of course.”

As soon as they passed through the door, Zaryn started pacing, words tumbling out.

“So, I’m sorry about comin’ to you for this. Don’t take it wrong, but you seem, well, kinda worldly, if you get what I mean.” Leliana didn’t, but she nodded anyways, and Zaryn continued. “Well, Blackwall and I … well, he’s been … and I’ve been … and we … well, last night ….”

Leliana filled in the blanks. “You and Blackwall made love last night? But that’s wonderful!” Zaryn didn’t stop pacing. “Isn’t it?”

Zaryn took a deep breath. “Okay. There’s no way to say this all nice and polite-like.” She took another breath and said in a rush, voice almost squeaking. “Are all humans’ dicks so skinny?”

Both Leliana’s eyebrows shot up, and she clapped her hands over her mouth to keep her giggles from escaping. Zaryn didn’t notice as her words continued to spill out.

“Because he treats me like I’m not some gutter trash that was in the right place at the wrong time. He treats me like I’m somethin’ special, like I’m made of diamonds. But he doesn’t pull that manly bullshit, try to protect me, keep me all safe and wrapped up like some dwarf noble would’ve if I’d landed one. He’s right there at my back, fightin’ with me. Fightin’ for me. He acts like I make his world worth livin’.” All that spilled out in one jumble and she gulped for air, and then grinned. “And by the Ancestors, the things he does with his mouth!” 

Leliana swallowed another giggle as Zaryn turned serious again. “But I got his pants off, and there it was. I mean, it was just ….” She trailed off again, and made a circle with her hand. It was a respectably-sized circle, in Leliana’s experience.

“So I take it Dwarf men are more …?” She trailed off. Not finishing sentences seemed to be the theme of this conversation.

Zaryn made another gesture, using both hands, and Leliana choked.

“I mean, once I flipped him over I managed to find a good angle and get myself off again, but I can’t ride him like a wild bronto all the time. My thighs will give out. That’s not why I want to have problems walkin’ the next day, anyways.”

Leliana hadn’t recovered from the first time she’d inhaled incorrectly, which made doing it again even worse. 

“And there’s just no way to tell a fella anything about his dick except ‘I want you to stick it in me.’ So how do I even ….?"

Leliana’s coughing intensified, and Zaryn finally noticed her difficulty. Looking worried, she slapped Leliana on the back a few times as she wheezed, tears trickling from the corners of her eyes. 

When the spasm passed, she wiped her face. The urge to giggle had passed, thank the Maker. Zaryn resumed her pacing.

Leliana thought for a moment, then ventured, “There are some books that might help?”

Zaryn frowned. “Folks’ve written books about humans and dwarves bangin’?”

Okay, so the urge to giggle hadn’t passed completely. One escaped, and Zaryn’s frown deepened. She hastened to reassure the dwarf. “No, no, nothing like that. There are, well, manuals for brothel workers. Some of them talk about techniques to use with undersized customers. Because why not enjoy yourself while you’re getting paid to help them enjoy themselves, yes? And it's not that Blackwall is undersized, as far as human men go, at least from your ... well ....” She made the hand gesture again. "But the techniques should still carry over."

She watched understanding dawn, and Zaryn asked, “Do you really think that’d help?”

“Well, it certainly can’t hurt to try. They’re fairly common. I should be able to locate one in a few days. They’re very non-descript in appearance too, so there will be no gossip about what you are reading.”

An idea lit up Zaryn’s face. “We can just put it inside the cover of one of Varric’s romance novels. I can just leave it lyin’ around my room and no one’ll ever touch it. I know Blackwall wouldn’t, for sure.”

“Well then. Let’s give it a try.”

Zaryn wasn’t much for physical contact, so Leliana was unprepared for the hug. When the dwarf looked up, her face was glowing.

“Now that’s the look I’d expect from a woman who just made love to the man of her dreams.” Zaryn blushed, and it was her turn to giggle. She gave Leliana another squeeze, murmured “thank you,” and left. Her normal spring was back in her step, and Leliana watched as she bounded down the stairs.

Leliana shook her head. Of all the conversations she’d imagined ever having as spymaster of the Inquisition, she’d never in all of her wildest dreams imagined anything like this. Well, then. Time to track down some books.

**Author's Note:**

> I dated a man when I was in college who was a bit on the undersized side of the penis spectrum. We had lots of fun discovering different ways to enjoy it.
> 
> [Here's Zaryn](http://thewightknight.tumblr.com/post/130996764738/cute-little-carta-fixer-when-she-stops-smiling), if you want a face to go with the fic.
> 
> Feel free to come say hi over on [tumblr](http://thewightknight.tumblr.com/).


End file.
